


chin up

by paperlighthouse



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Beginning - Summer Arc, Canon Compliant, Coming of Age, Extended Metaphors, Growing Pains, Insecurity, One Shot, POV Alternating, Plant Imagery, Poetic, Short, Short One Shot, Sun vs. Moon, i love hq!!, lapslock bc im sapphic, moon phase symbolism from your local witch, what makes us human?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24991558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperlighthouse/pseuds/paperlighthouse
Summary: plants grow just like humans. each varies, each has their own needs to survive.hinata needs sun. a warmth and light that inspires worship, burning heat and gentle rays, sweat dripping down his back, evaporating water where it puddles under him.tsukkishima needs water. a steady lap at his shore tugged by the moon’s changes, a density that grows with depth, soaking up information, absorbing light when sunbeams strike him."i meant, the sun and the moon are different." he looks up at the stars. "they’re not opposites. plus, both are needed for the world to work, so why try to contrast them so bad.”
Kudos: 6





	chin up

**Author's Note:**

> listened to the [_love is not dying_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g5AHio1O_A&t=943s) album by jeremy zucker when writing some of this. i highly rec the album. it has beautiful stories and lyrics that and flow reallly well if you listen to it in full.

_Often I get exhausted_   
_Trying regardless to be enough_   
_Is it selfish not to be selfless_   
_When all I can help is to open up?_

["always, i'll care"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57g4JZCvU7A)

Jeremy Zucker

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

plants grow just like humans. each varies, each has their own needs to survive.

hinata needs sun. a warmth and light that inspires worship, burning heat and gentle rays, sweat dripping down his back, evaporating water where it puddles under him.

tsukkishima needs water. a steady lap at his shore tugged by the moon’s changes, a density that grows with depth, soaking up information, absorbing light when sunbeams strike him.

✧

tsukkishima’s first thought when he sees hinata is “tiny”, followed by “annoying” after his spring-like leap and the flurry of his clothes flapping inches from his nose. the idiot pair under the streetlight fade as he walks through the dark on the way home, but he can’t help and feel a little miffed. the short redhead flew through the air like a comet, focus of any living thing enraptured by him.

yamaguchi waves a hand and calls a ‘goodnight’ over his shoulder. tsukkishima calls back lazily and rightens himself towards his home.

the moon hangs overhead, full. _completion, power, letting go._

tsukkishima wrinkles his nose and raises his headphones over his ears.

✧

hinata’s first thought when he sees tsukkishima is “HUGE”, squeezed against “stupid gangly giant mean bleh” after he opened his mouth and his brazen insults splashed to the floor like spilled water. the surprised, pinched expression hinata’s able to leave on him covers the bruise on his ego like a perfectly cut patch. hinata licks the salty sweat off of his lips.

kageyama yells to capture his attention and bumps a soft serve into the air. hinata lowers to receive but the ball flys into the chain link fence.

the light the lamppost projects flickers as moths and creepy crawlies flit in the night.

hinata saddles his bike and pedals off towards the mountains.

✧

hinata clambers over conversations just as he does on the court. over ecstatic to participate, defending his height every other sentence and reading people’s motives (or lack thereof) without an appeared ounce of effort.

people gravitate towards him cyclically; he’s almost never alone. classmates round his desk chatting between classes. old ladies seem to pinch his cheeks every street corner he turns. the team revolves around his freak quick. _spring must begin just to see him_ , tsukkishima snorts.

it’s exhausting.

✧

tsukkishima eerily carries himself like he does on the court. sticking to his space, snickering behind his hand with truths digging skin deep and silent besides affirming he heard or was heard.

besides yamaguchi following tsukkishima (or rather tsukkishima following yamaguchi) the skinny french-fry sticks to the background like a shadow. he surfaces for class, goes to practice, walks home with yamaguchi. he surfaces for class, goes to practice, walks home with yamaguchi. over and over, tsukkishima seemingly phases in and out of the school. _isn’t be bored?_ hinata ponders.

it’s frustrating.

✧

however, even with their similarities, humans are not plants.

their dna is a bit different, they depend a lot more on outside living beings, and often thrash in feelings of suffocation and boredom. but still, the curious human, the pleasure seeking human, the human who wonders, cannot help but to string along metaphors and imagery for the sake of connection.

hinata needs sun. and to take him out sunlight to sit on the sidelines feels like starvation. the light, the thrill, the satisfaction just out of reach. stuck, unable to move by himself.

tsukkishima needs water. and to flood his basin till his soil dilutes and his roots rot feels like torture. the cool, the calculated, a routine to be dependent on, withheld under unblinking eyes to watch him turn limp.

✧

“sun and moon!”

yachi’s yell startles them both: hinata wheezily coughs behind a hand, tsukkishima struggles to catch his glasses as they slip from his fingers.

“sorry!” their new manager flits around them. the towels in her hands spring at their faces as she offers them with trembling hands.

hinata smiles encouragingly, wiping his neck and hairline. “it’s okay. what were you saying?” he takes a careful sip of water this time.

“ah!” she exclaims like she had already forgotten, “i noticed something. hinata, your name has ‘sun’ in it, and tsukki’s has ‘moon!’ you’re like opposites!”

“well, duh. i couldn’t be any more different from this wild, crow chick.” tsukkishima towel dries his sweaty hair with reluctance, dodging the fumed, red cheeks of his teammate.

“i wouldn’t say that.” hinata ties his shoes diligently.

tsukkishima pulls the backs of his shoes over his heels and steps into the slightly cool, most defiantly more pleasant smelling summer air. he scoffs at the waning moon. “are you going to compound on that, or were you going to let it hang in the air like a fat bug?”

“I wasn’t going to pound on anything!" the boy said, throwing his towel over his shoulder. "i meant, the sun and the moon are different." he looks up at the stars. "they’re not opposites. plus, both are needed for the world to work, so why try to contrast them so bad.”

“though when yachi said that i got shivers.” the moonlight reflects off of hinata's amber eyes, heating them like coals. hinata’s eyes sparkle without dimming. “we sounded like superheroes!”

tsukkishima’s lip curls in mild disgust, pushing past his teammate. tsukkishima glances up at the sky and the shrinking moon mirrors them. he steps under the overhang, “don’t you think that’s a bit childish?”

✧

_i want to be useful._

_i’m falling behind._

_i want to hold my own._

_i’m just a replacement._

_dammit!_

_this is just a club._

_DAMMIT!_

_don’t get attached._

**_WHAT ELSE DO WE NEED BESIDES PRIDE?_ **

✧

plants don’t feel pride, or feel the need to know themselves, but the human does. and it keeps reaching for ties and the glimpse of a reflection to find meaning, beauty, affirmation, importance. is that why we trace pigmented skin and call them stars, or reach up through the sky though we know our fist won’t close around the heavens?

is this why when we find our allies, our enemies, our lovers, our colleges, our classmates, our family, and our strangers we ledge story after story about who they are? and who we are and how we mirror, how we stick, how we tear, how we melt, how we freeze, how we burn, how we sink, how we fly?

how we claim numbers and animals, celestial beings, colors and shapes, flavors and textures, scents and styles, to feel like we know ourselves and how to feel about others.

✧

hinata is a boy. he’s short, a red head. his bed head is terrible and he bikes over a mountain to and from school. his grades are less than average and he talks with food in his mouth. he’s able to jump so high he flies. his drive is often mistaken for his ego. he fears never being able to hit the ball again. he breathes volleyball.

tssukishima is a boy. he’s tall, blond. he studies well and has an older brother who comes home often. he wears glasses. attitude is his sword and his shield. his resilience is quiet. he’s able to read his teammates and his opponents, as well as manipulate both parties. he fears passion. he breathes strategy.

they’re boys growing into men. with flesh and bones, blood and hair, desire and a pulling in their chest like a cyclone. they are prideful, covered in scars and indents in their skin. burning their past selves in fire to reemerge through their own will. they are human, finding beauty in every pain, feeling pain in everything beautiful. human, finding brotherhood in their enemies, faith in their team, motivation in their shortcomings. human, connecting bright futures with imaginary lines so real they almost seem to stretch across the sky. human, naming everything around us, giving everything value, holding everything close. human, fall down seven, get up eight. because, being human is to have pride, isn’t it? living is a game where you have to look up.

☆.｡.:* .｡.:*☆

**Author's Note:**

> fan art, inspired stories, and translations are welcome!! if you post here on ao3 go ahead and put my fic under "inspired by.." so i can see it. my twitter is [ @lunagoogie](https://twitter.com/lunagoogie) if want to tag me in fanart or DM your thoughts on this story. im also on tumblr [ @kootea](https://kootea.tumblr.com).
> 
> DO NOT COPY TO ANOTHER CITE
> 
> retweet [ this](https://twitter.com/lunagoogie/status/1282193560968630273) or reblog [ this](https://kootea.tumblr.com/post/623413844645216256/chin-up-hinata-tsukki) to help get this fic out there  
> 


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